You are an asshole

Ten Reasons You Should Pay Asshole Tax

Let’s face it, assholes: you need to pay up for your atrocious behavior.

Here are ten reasons you are required to pay asshole tax.

you-are-an-asshole

10: You are a forgetful douche

gandalf

Your wife’s, girlfriend’s, or mistresses’ birthday? When the hell is that? Oh, it was last week? Whatever, you just saved some bank on being an idiot and a closet asshole.

Did you forget to pick up your child and left them sitting in the rain for an hour? Eh, it will build that bastard child’s character.

How about the time you forgot your wallet and made your date pick up the tab and then lost the bitch’s number? Fuck her, she can afford it, right?

9: You are a sociopath

sociopath

Your most recent watched movies on Netflix are full of revenge porn. You laugh when people fall. You glaze by the online headlines talking about death, thinking Darwin is an awesome dude.

When your girlfriend is crying on your shoulder, you are checking your Facebook. If someone you know dies, you sleep in during their funeral.

Fuck people and their emotions.

8: You are a control-freak

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“You are not going out dressed like a prostitute.”

Your woman is your property and the only time you want her looking pretty is right before you put your sweaty body on top of her for 30 seconds.

7: You are not a gentleman

gentleman

Women aren’t helpless. They can open up their own damn doors and buy their own damn drinks.

6: You Facebook stalk

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“How come you didn’t like my status update, cunt?”

5: You are a commitment-phobe

no-commitment

Yeah, we’ve been dating for six years. I can afford a ring, but fuck, that girl ain’t getting any younger and her looks are a depreciating asset.

4: You think of Justin Bieber as a role model

bieber

Every guy should strive to be more like the Biebster.

3: You are a misogynistic prick

misrape

Women are just walking fuck holes with two cushions, right?

2: You do not use proper grammar in texts or online

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‘Cause, fuck grammar.

1: You don’t give a warning in the bedroom

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Hey, while you’re down there… oops.

Bonus: You are me (Ronald Huereca)

ronald-asshole

Yep, I’m constantly paying asshole tax.

How to Pay Asshole Tax

Asshole Tax

Buy my damn book, bastards.

Web Developer and Programmer
Writer and software engineer Ronald Huereca has been a developer at notable agencies like iThemes and 10up. His varied background has him working with WordPress since 2006, eventually creating his own plugin which, of course, lead to more. He spends quite a bit of his time volunteering with the WordPress project as a core and polyglot contributor. With all of his passions, writing has been the way Ronald expresses himself best. He has written both technical books as well as fiction. Some of his works include Project Mayhem, Mindefusement, and WordPress and Ajax. “You can only delay the inevitable” is his favorite quote. Ronald enjoys reading Stephen King and John Grisham. When he’s not writing, Ronald dreams of building websites filled with cats yawning, disclaimers his strong opinions, sings karaoke, and advocates for empathy surrounding mental health.

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