Rants

So I Married a Footer

I recently wrote over at Devlounge about being in love with a website footer.

Here’s what I said about the website footer:

If I could marry a website footer, this would be the one I would take back home to my mom.

And here was the response:

So I followed the link and to my surprise, what I read actually made me blush. So I just wanted to write this quick post and say thanks and to quote Sally Field from her Oscar acceptance speech, “You like me, you really like me,” er, or, ahh, my footer anyway.

As a sarcastic gesture, I’m going to assume I could actually marry a footer, and give you some details about our life together.

Engagement

I found out the footer’s name was actually Eileen. We went out on a few dates and I knew she was it. I’ve been in and around a lot of layouts, and she just had everyone else beat hands down.

When I proposed, she kinda freaked and some things got jumbled around a bit, but she finally got herself together. We both approached her parents very cautiously. Eileen was afraid I wouldn’t validate. In the end, her parents loved me and we set a wedding date.

The Wedding

The wedding was beautiful. I couldn’t have asked for a more spectacular wedding. All the designers were there, and even her creator decided to show her face. It was awesome.

The reception had a lot of food and dancing. There was even a side bar. As you can imagine, I visited that quite a bit. I think Eileen got a little jealous.

A Glimpse

Enough of the boring details. Here’s a glimpse into a typical evening in the Huereca household with Eileen and I.

I was sitting on the couch watching YouTube TV when Eileen approached me.

“Ron, I think I might need a foot massage.”

I looked at her and was confused, “Hon’, you look great. What needs massaging?”

“Something just doesn’t seem to be aligned correctly.”

“Okay, come here.”

Eileen sat down in front of me as I started massaging.

“A little to the left.” Eileen said in a wince.

“How’s that?” I asked.

“Perfect. I think you got it. Thanks.”

Eileen got up and walked upstairs.

From upstairs, I could hear Eileen yelling, “Ron, I think you better get up here. Jess and Rod are at it again.”

I got up from the couch and walked upstairs to discover that Rod and Jess (our children) had gotten in another fight.

“What’s going on?” I demanded to know.

“Jess threw a 404 at me again.” Rod accused.

“That’s nothing.” Jess said defending herself, “Rod tried to give me a SQL injection.”

I stood aghast at the accusations. “I want both of you to go to your rooms right now. If you guys don’t start behaving, I’ll redirect your traffic for a month. Is that understood?”

In unison, Rod and Jess replied, “Yes dad.”

“Good. Now get out of here.”

Rod and Jess went into their respective rooms.

The End

I realize this post was rather silly, but I just wanted my readers to have a brief glimpse into what marrying a footer would actually be like. Thanks for reading.

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Comments

  1. So, if you had married a header, would the header a very dominating wife? Would a left margin be a left leaning radical or a right margin be a right leaning radical?

    Enquiring minds want to know………

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