Due to my recent unemployment, I’ve had a ton of time to watch television.

Here are the types of the commercials I absolutely hate, with some of them so gagging, I turn the channel immediately.

Extended Car Warranties

You’ve probably seen this commercial at least a dozen times.

If you own a car, please stay tuned for this important announcement.

The commercial brings a smiling Rusty Wallace to tell how a guy with U.S. Fidelis saved thousands by signing up for coverage.

The horrible and two-minute long commercial immediately has me grabbing my remote to change the channel.

Not only do I not trust Rusty Wallace (he also does commercials for an advanced paycheck place), his voice, receding hairline, and fake smile make me nautious.

U.S. Fidelis is not the only advertiser for extended coverage, so the combination is just infuriating.

I don’t want extended coverage on my car! Stop advertising these please!

But sell your car, your coverage goes with it.

Huh? What the heck does that mean anyway? Just stop advertising while you still have some dignity.

You Don’t Have to be Bald

I mentioned before about Rusty Wallace’s receding hairline. How convenient would it be to have a commercial promising to give its users their own hair back?

Every commercial that promises an escape from baldness claims they are the innovator and only real service that provides results.

How can you trust testimonials from paid actors?

I’ll believe the commercials when Donald Trump finally ditches his comb-over for one of these services.

Car Insurance Commercials

I don’t care if I’m in “Good Hands” with Allstate. I don’t care if your name is Flo and you can name your own price. And I don’t care if you have a cute gecko as your mascot.

All promise to save me money by switching to their service. All claim to be the best. All claim to have the best customer service.

I think the best commercial would be to have the tiny gecko infiltrate the Progressive commercials and beat Flo’s ass with her price gun. After that, Allstate would step in and cradle the small gecko in its “good hands” and squish it.

Then 21st Century Insurance and the General will duke it out to fight with the Allstate spokesman.

Now I’d watch that.

Get Your Free Credit Report

Quick, say “FreeCreditScore.com” three-times fast.

How about “FreeCreditReport.com” (see below video)?

All of these commercials promise a “free” credit report.

Others promise to protect your identity (and you can get a *gasp* shredder just for signing up).

I personally prefer FreeDumbAssReports.com for all of my credit-related information.

Get Off Your Couch and Go Back to School

Get cooking! Literally!

The above phrase is from an ad from the Texas Culinary Academy. Too bad I don’t like to cook.

Others like ITT promise me a “better” life. Um, okay? If it’s another job sitting in a cubicle, I think I’ll pass.

Most of these schools charge a heck of a lot of money for credits that rarely transfer to a “real” school. How do I know this? Because I graduated from Devry-Phoenix.

I got lucky and got my Masters degree from one of those “real” schools. And I’m still up to my ears in student loan debt from one of those schools that promised me a “better” life.

I Don’t Give a $#$# About Gold

I see a variant of the below commercial at least ten times a day.

I don’t care about gold! In fact, I can give a shit less about it.

And I can give a bigger shit less about those Cash 4 Gold commercials that promise to turn gold into cash.

Leave me alone gold commercials before I go crazier than I already have.


Throughout this post I listed six types of commercials I absolutely hate. Feel free to chime in on commercials that irritate you. If you can find a link to the actual commercial, that would be helpful (especially for those overseas).