I spent most of last week in Texarkana, Texas spending Thanksgiving with my wife’s family. I didn’t exactly go there to work on anything; I went to have Thanksgiving. Of course, my presence there was a little awkward and nobody knew why I was really there.
Predictably, the arrows were hurled in my direction and I did my best to dodge them. I do have to stop and ponder a bit when someone else tells me I am “broken.” In my eyes, I am as broken as everyone else. I don’t need a therapist, a wife, or anybody for that matter telling me about all of my imperfections. I know some of those imperfections, but others I do not know about. I see the broken part of me as being a side-effect of a sinful nature. I am not perfect. But I also am not broken.
To say that I need to be fixed is like saying that compared to everyone else, I am a defect. I have exceeded the upper-bounds of normalcy and I need to be analyzed further so that more people like me aren’t produced. That is absurd! I am not defective. I am not an alcoholic, drug-abuser, wife-beater, or anything that I would consider a danger to myself and others. I get angry, defensive, and manipulative just like everyone else does.
To say I need to be fixed is forcing a change on me. I have had twenty-five years of my life to learn the bad habits and behaviors that make me, me. I seriously doubt I can change my behavior in weeks, months, or even years. Furthermore, what is the motivational factor of me changing anyways? Is it to gain something that considers me a defect in the first place?
As a side note, I did take a lot of credit for many hurtful things I have done. Hindsight is indeed twenty-twenty, and I cannot change the past. However, it is my opinion that holding onto the past hinders the future. To read a rather convicting article on taking credit (or blame), please read the following outside article: Credit is Way Over-Rated.