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Is Being a Doormat Such a Bad Thing?

In my limited relationship experience, I was always told to never treat people like doormats. In other words, I shouldn’t treat somebody like that person can be walked all over. As wise as it is to not treat people like doormats, I think that being a doormat has received too much of a negative connotation. I began to ask myself, “Why is being a doormat such a bad thing?”

In my own quest to determine if being a doormat is a bad thing, I began to think of several attributes of doormats. Hopefully after reading my attributes, you will yourself conclude that being a doormat isn’t all that bad.

Doormats Are a Refuge

When it’s rainy or snowy outside, doormats are literally a refuge. I’ve found myself many times wiping my feet on a doormat so that I wouldn’t injure myself when walking on the unprotected flooring of a building. Doormats are also a refuge when one of the janitorial staff decides to mop the floor. After an intense balancing act, a doormat is the island of hope that one must get to in order to be saved from a harsh fall.

Doormats are protectors as well. When it’s muddy, or dusty, a doormat takes the grime so that nobody else does. This is extremely sacrificial. Doormats take the abuse in order to make everything else look good.

Doormats Set the Scene

A good doormat will set the scene of a house. A doormat is the one piece of personality (besides lawn ornaments) that set the scene of a house before somebody enters. A good doormat will make a person feel welcome and will be an introduction to what’s inside the house.

A well taken care of doormat (one that is clean) is also an indication of the cleanliness of the house. A neglected doormat will reflect negatively on the owners.

Doormats Are There

When entering a house or a building, a doormat is one of the first things you’ll encounter. Whether doormats are noticed or not, they are there. Doormats don’t care whether they’re noticed or not; they know they’re appreciated, especially when weather conditions worsen.

Conclusion: Doormats Are Sacrificial

I conclude that treating somebody like a doormat is a bad thing. After all, not everybody wants to be a doormat. However, choosing to be a doormat is an admirable thing.

For one, doormats are willing to take the grime that nobody else wants to have. When a doormat gets dirty, it is rather easy to clean. The same can’t be said for carpets, or flooring. To put this in an analogical perspective, a person who is a doormat is willing to be a buffer (or shield) so that the ones closest will not be affected by negativity.

Being a doormat is allowing people to take refuge. People may step on you all day, but people will run to you when things are bad. Furthermore, being a doormat means you have the potential to set the stage for the things around you.

Being a doormat also means that you are willing to be there for people. Whether people notice what you’re doing is a non-issue. The important thing is establishing a visual foundation so that people will know you’ll be there when needed.

To perhaps incite some discussion, if you were a doormat, what kind would you be? Please respond with your comment.

Writer and software engineer Ronald Huereca has been a developer at notable agencies like iThemes and 10up. His varied background has him working with WordPress since 2006, eventually creating his own plugin which, of course, lead to more. He spends quite a bit of his time volunteering with the WordPress project as a core and polyglot contributor. With all of his passions, writing has been the way Ronald expresses himself best. He has written both technical books as well as fiction. Some of his works include Project Mayhem, Mindefusement, and WordPress and Ajax. “You can only delay the inevitable” is his favorite quote. Ronald enjoys reading Stephen King and John Grisham. When he’s not writing, Ronald dreams of building websites filled with cats yawning, disclaimers his strong opinions, sings karaoke, and advocates for empathy surrounding mental health.

3 thoughts on “Is Being a Doormat Such a Bad Thing?”

  1. Goodmorning Ronald!

    Thank you so much for the perspective of “doormat”. I needed this positive feedback urgently. I read your article moments ago, and knowing that I am not the only one with the positive perspective of what is sometimes called being a “doormat”, or as an older woman told me yesterday, after venting about her intimacy with her ex, and how bad she felt. After I encouraged her and told her that I do understand some of what she spoke of….I too tend to be a personality A sometimes in a relationship, she quickly told me to “shut-up, you’re nothing but a poop-but doormat! I mean, you seem to be so easy-going, and submissive, and nice.”

    I could tell that she really felt that I was a “poop-but doormat”, and as I told her….”I have different sides that come out in different situations. After I departed from the store, however, that term rung in my ear all night…and I found myself pondering the fact that it’s funny that she would call me that, yet I’m the person she runs to to tell her struggles, or when she’s down she comes running to. In fact there are a list of people who confide in me because they can’t be “themselves” with their colleagues…[lawyers, business owners]. And mind you…these people are older, successful women.

    Again, thanks for your priceless and timely article. You are truly a blessing from God.


  2. DAS »

    Wow! A blessing? *blush*

    In a previous relationship I was always told I was treating a person as a doormat. It was a partial inspiration for the post when I suddenly thought, “Is being a doormat really that bad?” Turns out, it depends on the attitude of the doormat. Thank you for your comment.

  3. Oddly enough, I can actually see exactly where you are coming from.

    In a society where more and more people could be considered useless, having a use must be a good thing? Even if it is that your use, is to be used by other people in a structured and constructive way?

    I personally rather like door mats, they give me a real sense of nostalgia. Each door matt can contain its own unique message, should I beware of the dog, wipe my feet or admire the design and texture.

    You couldn’t ever accuse a door matt of not having depth, style and purpose.

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