Illustration by Mike Meredith. Used With Permission.
If you haven’t seen the rather hilarious Trunk Monkey commercials, you should head over to the website and check them out. After watching several of the commercials and talking to one of my friends, I thought of an idea that would revolutionize laptop security: the Laptop Monkey.
Renter’s insurance, biometrics, and laptop locks will only take care of your laptop to a certain degree. It seems that every week we hear of a laptop being stolen with thousands of consumer names on it. Every laptop needs its own personal laptop bodyguard: the Laptop Monkey.
On top of offering warranties on laptops, computer manufacturers could also offer a year’s worth of protection from theft via the Laptop Monkey. Never again would you fear taking your laptop with you to airports, coffee shops, malls, or board meetings. The Laptop Monkey will keep an eye on your laptop every second of every day and will defend your laptop with his life.
If I were a marketing guru, here’s how I would craft my commercial for that of the Laptop Monkey.
Chad enters a relatively quiet library on a college campus with his laptop. He sets his laptop up at a table in one of the library’s study rooms. He works meticulously on a paper, but his bladder calls. Rather than shut down his laptop and take it with him, Chad decides to lock his computer and run to the restroom.
The Thief Emerges
As Chad leaves the study room, a thief emerges from the shadows and takes the opportunity to steal Chad’s laptop. The thief enters the room and is about to take the laptop when his feet are pulled out from under him. What the laptop thief didn’t know was that Chad had his own Laptop Monkey. The Laptop Monkey — watching from an undisclosed location — watched as the thief entered the room with criminal intent. The Monkey sneaked up on the man and pulled his legs, causing the thief to fall to the floor with a loud thud.
No Laptop Monkey commercial could end without some retribution for the attempted criminal act. The Laptop Monkey drags the thief out of the library and down a large amount of steps. The Monkey strips the man down to his undies and lets the unconcious thief bake in the hot sun near an ant hill on the main college lawn.
Everyone who owns a laptop absolutely needs their own Laptop Monkey. What are you waiting for? Go get one!