I Can Relate to Relient K

I can relate to one of Relient K‘s(iTunes) more powerful songs entitled, “Who To Bury, Us or the Hatchet?” This topic will go into a running commentary of the song’s lyrics.

I think you know what I’m getting at. I find it so upsetting that, the memories that you select; you keep the bad, but the good you just forget. And even though I’m angry I can still say, I’ve known my heart will break the day when you peel out and drive away. I can’t believe this happened. And all this time I never thought… that all we had would be all for naught.

For those that know my situation, you know the the above lyric’s quote speaks very deeply to me. It’s rather upsetting–and depressing–to realize that the one you love is gone. I honestly can say that I hope everything works out, but I still have thoughts that the worst could happen. Then what?

You took this too far. Too far. It’s your decision, and don’t you dare think twice. Go with your instincts along with some bad advice. This didn’t turn out the way I thought it would at all. You blame me, but some of this is still your fault. I tried to move you, but you just wouldn’t budge. I tried to hold your hand, but you’d rather hold your grudge. I think you know what I’m getting at. You said goodbye and I just don’t want you regretting that.

In tough situations, it’s hard not to blame yourself. Sometimes I catch myself blaming my inner demons and my faults as a Christian. It’s also easy to blame the other person. What I’ve learned through Christian counsel is not to pinpoint blame on the other person. I am to analyze myself and see if I really do have some issues. I know I do have issues, but who doesn’t? I feel I have given my best effort, and sometimes that isn’t enough. People can hold onto grudges and let simple matters destroy relationships too. Sometimes people make hurtful and rash decisions that will have unforeseen consequences well into the future. Regrets are many in a lifetime.

And wisdom always chooses these black eyes and these bruises… over the heartache that they say, never completely goes away.

Life is a bunch of choices. Some of the choices are good, and some of the choices are bad. These choices can lead to an untold amount of baggage that a person will carry into the next relationship. The heartache is very real, but not something that can’t be cured. God can rid anyone of anger, regret, humiliation, and brokenness. I have dealt and am dealing with my own issues regarding my past hurts and humiliations. However, it is easy to trick yourself into believing lies that any logical-thinking person knows isn’t true.

What happened to us? I heard that it’s me we should blame. What happened to us? Why didn’t you stop me from turning out this way? And know that I don’t hate you, and know that I don’t want to fight you… And know I’ll always love you. But right now I just don’t…

The above quote reminds me of the Five Stages of Death. It’s so easy for someone to analyze or want to analyze a relationship. It’s also easy to pass blame onto others. “Why didn’t you stop me from treating you so bad?” It’s also easy to get angry. In fact, that is how I still feel. I’m angry at my circumstances. I’m angry at the way things turned out. But the ending lyrics provide a good vantage point into exactly how I feel at the moment.

2 Comments

  1. You know, for a while there, I wondered if you were aware what was going on in your own life since there was no hint of acknowledgement. I understand the need for privacy though. But, sometimes it feels good to let it out. Whatever happens, will hopefully happen for the best and in civil ways :-).

  2. Just rely on God to provide you with the strength u may need.. And your family.. Music is good therapy sometimes huh!

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