Christianity

Even When I Fail, God Loves Me

This past month or so I’ve had to confront a variety of internal and external issues.  I’ve been forced to examine by own faith in God, myself, and others.  This past year, all I have considered myself to be was a failure:  a failure at my job, at marriage, and most of all, a failure in my faith.  If ever I felt like a sinner, it was this past month when I thought all was lost.

With the encouragement of friends I didn’t know I had — and the church — I have come to realize that I am indeed not a failure.  For too long I have conditioned myself to try to achieve what I simply cannot.  I have tried to meet the expectations set before me that are necessary and ideal, but not achievable on this sinful, fallen Earth.  When I tried and failed, and tried again with the same end result, I simply gave up.  After all, why should I keep trying if I know that the end result will be a failure?

However, God has given me encouragement through His Word and through His praises.  I have realized that no matter how many people I fail on this Earth, there is a God that loves me no matter what.  My Father is always there for me with open arms, no matter how many curses I heave at myself and others.

As I feel myself slipping towards the bottom-less pit of depression, I take comfort in knowing that God is the light at the end of my murky tunnel.  I do love Him, although I would be hard-pressed to think of a recent example of what I have done to show it.  When others who love me turn their back on me, I know above all that God will never turn His love away from me.  For that, I am thankful.

Comments

  1. I've unexpectedly taken refuge in this forgotten song this last week…

    : YOU ARE MY SON :
    by Scarecrow and Tinmen

    I should not cry though I’m broken inside
    And why should I mope all day long?
    Living above takes the sting from these wounds
    And I’m living by faith and not by sight
    Then I hear His voice gently calling my name
    Love to hear His voice in the cool of… in the cool of the day.
    And I love you, my son.
    I love you, my son.
    And I want to tell you that you’re on my mind,
    the funny things you say and do, and I love, I love that you’re mine.
    And I know your name, and I weep when you hurt,
    and I cheer when you win, because you are my son.
    I will come when you call, I will hear your prayers.
    And I will fight for my name because you are my son.
    You are my son.

    Loving me when I am unlovable,
    You’re patient when I’m far from it.
    Keeping no records of all of our wrongs,
    and His love has canceled our debts.
    And I stand in awe of your infinite grace,
    knowing that you took our sin with its, with its sentence of death.

    ###

    It takes a bold man to be a man who knows without a doubt, and proclaims to the same, that the Savior alone is all our strength, and all our hope, and the only One who goes with us, and before us. You inspire me dude.

  2. He is wonderful… Trust in God and you will make it through.. Ive been through it all with ya Ronald and trust me there is strength in God that you will never find anywhere!

  3. Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will find them gradually, without noticing it, and live along some distant day into the answer. ~Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

  4. just earlier this year i was in a brokeness…i failed my parents, failed out of school, slowly losing money, pushed my loved one away, lost a good friend to death, and also thought about death, i was very close to thoughts of suicide… i only made it out because i had nothing else to lose, right? and well i admited to being nothing, i submitted, i cryed out countless nights with tears on my cheeks, and dim hope on my heart…i question god on why he would allow me to go through this feeling and allow me to be feeled with these dark thoughts…i felt like i was the story of job…i have been attending church since i was born, i got saved just over a year ago… i do not know why it took me 18 years of my life to realize i needed god, i try not to think about it, i have already understood that it is not for me to understand…I KNOW I FAIL, I AM ONLY HUMAN, but i can not stand myself when i fail god, i only hope that he can understand and forgive me…………i mean i know he does, but it just feels like i’m alone, when in fact i am not…
    even though i fail, with god forgiveing me for me i feel loved and above all i know i am stronger from day to day…even when i fail myself and others…god well still be the one in my doorway saying i love you, no matter what i do….

    currently i am working a part-full-time job now lol…assistant youth leader at my church, VBS leader lol consecetivly…..just last week i directed a youth service…. my prayer that my cousin’s would be saved happened about 2 months ago…that prayer happened 2 years ago…just think about it brings tears of joy to me…i can honestly say i’m truly thankful, i have been blesed with the life given to me… -Marty A.

    “if God was a songwriter, then these fallen leave of mine well be redeemed.”-Jon Foreman

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