Coyote Ugly

The following was my first (and probably last) experience at Coyote Ugly in Austin, Texas.

“You, in the glasses.” a lady said into a microphone pointing into my direction.

It wasn’t everyday that a lady on top of a bar was pointing at me and announcing my presence to the slew of drunkards and bar-hoppers. I wasn’t annoyed or embarrassed, just wondering why my glasses were my prominent figure.

“That’s right. You. Front and center.” she used her index finger to lure me close to the bar.

I looked at my dad, who was laughing at me, and he signaled me to get off my stool and make my way to the bar.

I approached and stood at the bar next to another gentleman.

“It’s her birthday.” she said pointing at another lady. “I want you to pay for a body shot.”

I stood confused. I had never given anyone a body shot, much less a complete stranger in a strange bar in a foreign city.

“Twenty bucks.” she said.

Even a three drink buzz couldn’t talk me into paying up. I shook my head, “I don’t think so.”

“You and him”, she said pointing to the guy next to me, “You guys split it at ten a piece.”

I couldn’t imagine sharing the wealth when it came to body shots. The guy chipped in, “I’ll get it. Don’t worry about it.”

I made my way back to my stool, twenty dollars richer than the other guy.

Turned out it was the Coyote Ugly staff that gave the birthday girl her body shot. I was relieved and silently calling the gentleman at the bar a sucker for thinking he might get lucky.

When I came back, my dad was talking to a fairly attractive Asian lady.

“Where do they get these girls at?” she complained pointing at the bar, “Because not one is good looking. Which one is the best up there?”

My dad shrugged.

“I could out dance any of those girls on that bar.” she said.

“Then do it.” I responded. “Get up there and show those girls what you got.” Several other people assisted in persuading and eventually helping the lady onto the bar.

When she got on the bar, a fast jam came on. And she put all of the other girls to shame.

When she got down, I bought her a drink.

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