My non-fiction stories.

The Cheap Feel

A group of friends and I frequented a restaurant to partake in their weekly special of $1 margaritas.

As we settled in, my friend’s favorite waitress approached. I had seen her previously, but never really made small talk.

As a side note, people who know me well know I have a very dry sense of humor. But it’s intellectually dry, so most of my jokes go flying right over others’ heads.

.... Continue Reading...

Electric Tape

Electric Tape

“I think I’m having a panic attack!” April confided in me.

“What happened?”

April is not the type of girl to freak out easily. For me, she was a breath of fresh air. Finally, a woman that can take care of herself and a person who didn’t “need” a man.

But she had a weakness (don’t we all?). She gets random panic attacks.

.... Continue Reading...

I Wanna #*%$# You

“I wanna #*%$# you.” my sister said to me recently.

I was momentarily caught off guard. I looked in her eyes for any inclination of sarcasm or facetiousness.

“Um, what? Did I hear you correctly?”

“Your uni-brow. It needs to be plucked.”

I inwardly breathed a sigh of relief as I released my sister as an incestuous vulture.

“Why, what did you think I said?”

.... Continue Reading...

Coyote Ugly

The following was my first (and probably last) experience at Coyote Ugly in Austin, Texas.

“You, in the glasses.” a lady said into a microphone pointing into my direction.

It wasn’t everyday that a lady on top of a bar was pointing at me and announcing my presence to the slew of drunkards and bar-hoppers. I wasn’t annoyed or embarrassed, just wondering why my glasses were my prominent figure.

.... Continue Reading...

The Door Closes

“Nobody ever gets married expecting to divorce.”

“Unless you’re Britney Spears.” I replied with a smile trying to break the awkwardness.

“The papers are in the car.” She said looking at me, trying to form a smile.

A few moments later, she returned, opening my apartment door for the last time.

“Everything should be there.” She said handing them over to me.

.... Continue Reading...

Almost Getting Jacked

“I don’t need a ride.” I said politely to my boss Mr. Britt after work had ended at Walgreens. After work I went to the nearby Albertsons to do some grocery shopping. The time was about 11:15 at night when I began the walk home.

My groceries consisted of the normal healthy college student stuff. Pop-tarts for breakfast, Chef-boy-ardee for dinner, Hormel Chili, and Stouffers Lasagna for special occasions.

.... Continue Reading...
Scroll to Top