Category: Peeves

How Work Gossip Sounds to Everyone Else

Girl 1: I can’t believe he didn’t file the APA form correctly! He does it every Thursday. I can’t stand him.

Girl 2: Right, filling out the APA is so darn hard? You just have to have the MIPA credentials from the GAPA department, and bam, you’re done.

Girl 3: OMG, the BAPA of the department can’t even figure out it out.

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How Developers Feel Quoting Time

Begin phone call

You: We have an urgent meeting and I need you here in 30 minutes.

Me: I can be there in an hour.

You: You live 30 minutes away.

Me: Traffic conditions indicate a 45 minute drive, plus I need time to head out, and once I arrive, park.

You: But I really need you here in 30 minutes!

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Can You Stand Closer Please? I Can't Quite Smell Your Breath

Danger, Confined Space - Hazardous Atmosphere.  Check oxygen level before and during entry.

“Would you like to sign this?” my friend asked another stranger.

“Excuse me?” the stranger asked, a little startled.

“Well, you’re standing so close to me, I figured you could help me.”

My friend was in a supermarket buying groceries and the lady behind him was standing so close, he barely had any elbow room to complete his purchase.

The Magical Bubble

Everyone has a bubble of space.

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When You Choose a Pricey Hotel, You Keep Paying

Expensive Hotel Room

I’m a budget kinda guy. If I need to crash somewhere in a foreign city, I’ll pick a cheap motel or a discount hotel like Holiday Inn Express.

The places are cheap, have free parking, fast check-in, usually free breakfast, free wireless Internet, free wake-up calls, and free maintenance when something in the room breaks (by accident, always). Sometimes they even have free shuttles from the airport if you are flying in (saving you an expensive taxi ride).

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The Great Expresso and Espresso Debate

A shot of Expresso

I feel stupid almost every time I enter a coffee shop.

“Yes, I’d like a 16oz latte with 4 shots of espresso.”

“Sure.” the barista says.

He continues, talking to one of his co-workers, “Medium latte with four shots of expresso.”

“Got it, four shots of expresso.”

I always thought that the term was espresso (as in ES), but it turns out I’m wrong.

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Dude, Learn to Freakin' Park

Crowded Parking Lot

You’ve probably been in this situation…

You’ve just pulled into a parking lot, keeping your eyes open for other vehicles, pedestrians, and falling meteors. You’re parallel to the fire lane, and all of the sudden the vehicle in front of you stops.

Out of the passenger side comes a rather large woman, who walks to both sides of the back passenger doors and allows her children to come out.

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I'm sorry, but I still don't 'get' Facebook

Clueless Woman or Girl

Every other week, I get a call or an e-mail from my friends: “Dude, you never come online anymore!”

Uhm? I do come online. I use the crap out of Google Talk, Skype, Freenode, and Twitter.

But, it seems my problem is, I don’t *gasp* use Facebook.

A Little Background

This hasn’t been the first time I’ve been criticized for not using a popular communication portal.

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