The following is a conversation I had with Tyler Durden from Fight Club.
Tyler: Whoa! Whoa!
Me: What? I’m just putting in some eggs.
Tyler: You wanna make an omelet, you gotta break some eggs.
Me: Well, yeah, but you have to break some eggs to make a cake too, douche. Let’s see what else is next.
Tyler: Did you know that if you mix equal parts of gasoline and frozen orange juice concentrate you can make napalm?
Me: Well orange you special? How about you help me make this cake?
Tyler: One could make all kinds of explosives, using simple household items.
Me: But… we’re not trying to make a dry-ice bomb. We’re making a cake. And I’d prefer it not explode.
Tyler: Let the chips fall where they may.
Me: Are you implying we take this list of ingredients and just throw them in, and, “Wallah!”, a cake is made? If so, I think I need a new baking partner.
Tyler: Ok, I got it.
Me: Finally! Now let’s get moving.
Tyler: Shit, I lost it.
[Tyler making maniacal laugh.]
Me: You asshole! You mean, you were just messing with me?
Tyler: You got it.
Me: Phew. I thought I’d have to throw a spatula in your face or something.
Tyler: Three minutes.
Me: You’re right! The oven is almost pre-heated. Let’s get these ingredients mixed and into a pan!
[The ingredients have been mixed and we place the cake into the oven]
Tyler: Think of everything we’ve accomplished, man.
Me: I know. I never could really follow directions very well, but I think we’ve done a good job.
Tyler: I ask you for one thing, one simple thing.
Me: What’s that? Keep in mind we’re on a clock here.
Tyler: C’mon, do me this one favor.
Me: Fine, what?
Tyler: You have to know the answer to this question!
Me: But you haven’t even asked it yet!
Tyler: Not good enough.
Me: Goodness. You’re reminding me of my ex-girlfriend.
Tyler: We’re a generation of men raised by women. I’m wondering if another woman is really the answer we need.
Me: And now you’re giving relationship advice? What the hell?
Tyler Okay…
Me: Anyways, enough jibber-jabber. Let’s get this cake out of the oven.
[The cake has been sitting in the oven for way too long]
Tyler: What’s that smell?
Me: You’re right! Crap! We’ve burnt the darn thing.
Tyler: Shit man, now it’s all gone.
Me: Fuck you, Tyler. Next time, I’m getting someone else to help me bake.
hahaha nice interview with Tyler Durden can’t believe what you’ve said to him. Anyway he looks like Brad Pit. 😉
He is Brad Pit
Thanks! I loved using nothing but Fight Club quotes. I’ll have to do it again with a different character.