What Valentine’s Day Really Means

With Valentine’s Day coming tomorrow, retailers are pushing full force to get you to buy that special someone a Valentine’s Day gift.

The retail aspect of this holiday is absolutely absurd, and is one of the reasons I boycott this holiday.

Putting the retail aspect aside, however, Valentine’s Day is a reminder for a lot of things. Here’s a list of what people are reminded of when cupid’s arrow strikes:

  • You’re single! (neener-neener)
  • Your wife’s a gold digger!
  • Your man is a cheapskate.
  • You haven’t been laid in two months!
  • You’re too ugly to receive a Valentine (sorry).
  • You’re allergic to chocolate.
  • Your life’s dream has been to kill a real-life teddybear.
  • You HATE chocolate.
  • Balloons kill sea-turtles.
  • Your boyfriend’s in prison and…
  • You’re six months pregnant.
  • She’s too young for you.
  • He’s too old for you (but he has money).
  • He left me for someone younger.
  • For all gorgeous women out there, there is always one man who absolutely can’t stand her.
  • Do NOT go to any restaurants.
  • Avoid (ahem) parks and other romantic “spots” at night.
  • Do NOT listen to the radio.
  • That it might be fun to pretend you’re a serial killer for a day.
  • To send yourself flowers next year.
  • To laugh at all those “He went to Jared” commercials.
  • To regift that sweet sex toy you received last year.

Okay, I’ll stop there. Feel free to continue in the comments section if you wish.

9 thoughts on “What Valentine’s Day Really Means

  1. Their are actually anti valentines day parties springing up around the country. I just found a hub page for them by google.
    Just goes to show you that if there is too much hype, there is a backlash. Remember Disco?

  2. We discovered a long time ago that the weekend after is the best weekend to celebrate Valentines Day. Everyone else has spent their wad on “the weekend” and the next weekend is pretty slow.

    So, Wife is flying in Saturday and we will go out to dinner next Sunday. We won’t wait in line, we will get great service and the steaks will be just as good as the ones all of you ate last Sunday!!!!

    1. Actually, I got a laugh out of most of your points, mostly because I know that they all have or will be true to all of us at some point in our lives. And those who think otherwise are very narrow minded. I guess I’ve been around long enough to “know better”.

      BTW, I like your new spell checker.

  3. Here in Phuket, Thailand, Valentines Day is what you make it. Yup, the cost for roses goes up by four hundred percent and the restaurants tout special Valentine Day menus. But it is all still relatively inexpensive. Take part or not. ‘Up to you.’ as the Thais say. St Valentine’s Day in Bhuddist Thailand sounds a bit incongruous but the Thais love a party and have embraced many so-called western holidays along with their own Asian festivities. Thais are romantics so Valentine’s Day is big. Xmas is huge as is Halloween. Yes, Halloween! The Thais have three different New Year parties. Western New Year, Chinese New Year and Thai New Year. They will incorporate any occasion into their culture as long as there is a good time involved. Party on, Dude!

  4. LOL! I found your list as negative aspect of the day but its funny. For me, its a day to remember someone that comes to your life and contribute to being “YOU” today plus makes your day something to live for.

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